A Nate Holmes familiar, Corey Davis is not only the best representative of The Executive for 2018, he's also one of the best representatives of a father. Read his take on raising a son in today's America.
Name: Corey Davis
Occupation: Senior Manager
Child's Name: Charles
Child's Age: 2
How has fatherhood changed you?
As I go through life, observing other men and how they interact with their children, I realize any man can be a father, but it takes a man of integrity to be a dad. I was a married, settled 31 year old when I was expecting my first baby. Parenthood had always been an intimidating concept for me. It was not due to the huge sense of responsibility, but only for my desire to be the best father and husband I could possibly be. In our culture, having a boy is a mark of pride for fathers, however, I did not share this belief. I was ecstatic enough to know that the love of my life was giving me the gift of fatherhood, not to mention I was too busy praying for a healthy child rather than concerned with the sex of my child. As a man I can understand the pride of having a son, but I knew whether my child was a boy or a girl, I would have to exemplify the true reflection of a Father and a Husband. Fatherhood forced me to take an “inward” look into how I manage my life, as I am responsible for the safety and health of my wife and son. This is no easy task for any man, but it takes perseverance and grit to provide and protect your family. Fatherhood forced me to mature and move forward to becoming the man/father God intended us to be.
(1) In raising your son, is there anyone that you model yourself after? Is there a leader or father figure whose lessons and attributes you continually draw from? What are they? (2) What specifically in raising your son makes you feel successful?
In raising my son, I realize that I should not model myself after anyone, not even my Father. My Father continues to be a blessing to me, he has been there for me at each important event in my life. He himself did not have a constant father figure in his home to use as a “template” for what makes a good man/father/husband. My father reared me to the best of his ability with the knowledge he learned through the rigors of life. I could not thank my father enough for him being there for me in every aspect of my life, he did what a father was supposed to do, protect and provide. However, every man that becomes a father himself must realize you are your own man. I take the lessons taught by my father and apply them in my own way, I know my father would want me to raise the bar in parenting just as I expect my son to do the same. As men, men who were blessed to have their father in their lives, we often look back and critique the mistakes of our fathers, as I am sure my son will do the same with me. The only thing that matters at the end is to know your father loved you and did the absolute best he could, that is what I hope for. I hope Charles looks back at his life experience with me and realizes that I love him with every ounce of my being, and I did the absolute best I could to be a great Father and an excellent husband to his mother, that is all I can hope for. In my opinion, this is the only mark of being a “successful” parent. You can look to many examples of men and women who by many accounts appear to be successful people, however, many have stories of pain, hurt and anger that they experienced as a youth. I count it as a success if my son can look back at his father and realize I loved him hard and did the best I could to raise him.
Masculinity has been a hot topic in the most recent years and many are revamping their views on it. Do you have a plan to teach your son on how to deal with emotion and if so, what is it?
Teaching my son how to deal with emotions will be no easy task. Each of us have our own personalities and ways we deal with events in life. I realize he is his own unique person, so he may very well have a short fuse, or he could be a more reserved type that I have to “encourage” to step up and defend himself. This will be an ongoing lesson well into his teenage years. My plan is to teach him how to be a gentleman, to treat women with respect, to show up to appointments early, to walk away from bad situations. In each of these aspects, one can find that in each scenario, how you handle your emotions can determine the outcome of your life. When you are unable to handle emotions, that’s when you find yourself in a fit of anger yelling down to a woman or in sheer panic because your late to an important interview. We all hope our children can handle themselves properly in a bad situation, the inability to control your emotions in a bad situation can be life altering. I cannot really “plan” on how to deal with his emotions, I have to rely on the word of God and being a man of integrity to help me manage my sons emotions.
What about fatherhood do you take the most pride in? What are you working on?
Being a father to a 2 year old, I have had many moments of “pride” when it comes to my son meeting his benchmarks. Counting numbers, the alphabet, potty time, each mark he hits gives me a since of pride in myself that I am doing well as a parent. When my son acts out, throws a tantrum or does something I ask him not to do, I cannot help but feel as if I am doing something wrong. I personally think its just a part of being a parent, you become your own worst critic. I am in a constant state of learning when it comes to being a father, patience is the trait I am working to improve, especially during this the “terrible twos”. As I learn from him and he learns from me, we are both working on being best we can be!
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